What I'm Not Saying

Look in the mirror.
What do you see?
Surely that cannot be me!

For that girl looking back at me,
So sad and forlorn,
Is not how I’m meant to be!

I live in denial,
Pretending to be happy,
Pretending everything is alright.

Because to admit this love is a failure,
Would be to admit that I made a mistake;
And I cannot bear to hear “I told you it wouldn’t work”;
When all he does is work.

And as I check my messages for the hundredth time,
I cannot bear you not being mine.
So I will live miserably,
Just as long as you stay with me;
Because I can’t stand to lose you.

So I will take whatever I can get.
And hope things will get better.
Even though my heart says all is lost.